In our complex web of human interactions, there exists a deeply ingrained fear—the fear of being emotionally honest. We find ourselves tiptoeing around our true thoughts, feelings, and needs, afraid of the vulnerability and potential consequences that may follow. Yet, it is through this fear that we inadvertently create barriers to authentic connections and meaningful […]
Ever lose it on someone? You know, when you didn’t bring it up to them in the moment how you were upset by something they said or did and now that they’ve done it several times you can’t take it anymore? That is what we call piling it up then letting it all out, usually […]
We think of emotional honesty, we imagine expressing our genuine feelings, needs, fears, and boundaries. We also consider honesty to mean telling on ourselves, coming clean about things we are struggling with or are not proud of. If we want to work through and have healing happen, sharing our vulnerable truths with safe people can […]
“That’s not true!” or “You’re being too sensitive. I didn’t mean it that way.” You say when a loved one confronts you about something you said or did. Ouch. This is defensiveness in action. Defensiveness is really just about fear. The fear of being “found out” is the phrase…revealing how you are somehow not perfect […]
We hear it all the time. The blame-shift to entities outside of ourselves for our pain. For the consequences. But isn’t that just saying that we don’t have any power over ourselves? I’m pretty sure most of us shudder at the thought that we hand over our well-being to others and to circumstances, but maybe […]
It’s so embarrassing to look at afterward. We apologize. It won’t happen again. But it does, because until we can get a handle on our emotions, what we don’t work out we must act out. But why must we? Where is this coming from – this overwhelming urge to yell, pout, make noise or slam […]
You’ve been there. There is a conversation, an argument perhaps, and you walk away having not been emotionally honest in the moment. You were perhaps frozen, not able to connect to your thoughts and feelings and so the conversation ended without you doing what you need to do. Think back to some of the moments […]
On the podcast today, I talk about actual examples up manipulation in communication…when it looks like, what it feels like and most importantly, the damage it can do. We cannot feel emotionally safe in conversations deadlock emotional honesty, healthy boundaries, invulnerability. It’s so much easier to see manipulative and passive aggressive behaviors and others, but […]
Agendas can be a great way to organize what we want to get done. They are problematic however when we use them in our relationships – especially our communication. This brings in fear-based control, and doesn’t allow us to connect in emotionally honest ways. In fact, we can actually end up in the very state […]
As I have been talking about, your early experiences shaped your experience and views of conflict. Remember you were little and your parents were big. Maybe there was yelling, hurt and anger. Maybe even abusive behavior. So here are three common reasons you may struggle to approach conflict in healthy ways. You felt the fear […]
