Most of us don’t intentionally create chaos in our relationships. In fact, sometimes we do exactly the opposite. We try really hard not to. We don’t want to be needy. We don’t want to complain. We don’t want to burden anyone, and we don’t want to be difficult. We don’t want to ask for too […]
Many people are afraid of becoming selfish. In fact, I’ve worked with countless clients who worry that if they start setting boundaries, honoring their needs, or taking better care of themselves, they’ll somehow become self-centered. What I often tell them is this: People who are truly selfish rarely worry about being selfish. The people who […]
There’s a version of losing yourself that isn’t obvious. It doesn’t look like a breakdown or a major life event.It doesn’t come with a clear moment where everything changes. It happens quietly. In the moments where you don’t say what you really think.Where you ignore what you feel.Where you adjust yourself to keep things smooth, […]
For many of us, the hardest part of boundary work isn’t saying no. It’s knowing what we actually need in the first place. When you grow up learning to prioritize harmony, performance, or other people’s comfort, your own needs don’t disappear — they just go quiet. You had to disconnect from them, because it would […]
We’ve all been there — trying to be kind, to keep the peace, to make sure everyone else is okay. We listen patiently when we’re exhausted. We say yes when we’re already overcommitted. We tell ourselves, “It’s not worth the conflict,” or “They didn’t mean it.” We think we’re being compassionate, but really, we’re managing […]
Sometimes new relationships sweep in like a tidal wave. A new friend or partner seems excited about you, wants to spend all their time together, and quickly starts inserting themselves into your choices—what you do with your time, how you make decisions, even how you feel about things. On the surface, it can feel flattering. […]
There’s a specific kind of ache that comes from not being able to trust yourself. Not in the dramatic, “I’ve hit rock bottom” kind of way. But in the quiet moments—when you make a promise to yourself… and don’t keep it. When you say, “I’ll rest,” and don’t. When you say, “Next time I’ll speak […]
When we talk about healing or “finding ourselves,” it’s easy to picture something big. A career shift. A boundary-setting moment. A tearful breakthrough in therapy. And yes, those moments are real—and sometimes necessary. But the truth is, coming home to yourself often isn’t a grand gesture. It’s not one giant, brave act that changes everything. […]
There’s a good chance that if you’ve been living in survival mode, people-pleasing, second-guessing yourself, or staying quiet when you should speak up—you’ve been abandoning yourself. And the truth is, most of us have done it. It’s why I’m talking about it on the podcast this week. We didn’t do it because we’re weak or […]
You wouldn’t expect a friend to run all day on an empty tank and still be kind, calm, and focused. So why do you expect it of yourself? If you’ve ever found yourself snapping at someone you care about, crying in the car, or lying awake at night wondering why you feel so disconnected or […]
