We talk a lot about communication. We say we need to communicate better. We wish other people would communicate better. We get frustrated when someone doesn’t understand us, doesn’t respond the way we hoped, or seems completely oblivious to what we’re trying to tell them. But here’s a question worth sitting with: Did you actually […]
Most of us don’t intentionally create chaos in our relationships. In fact, sometimes we do exactly the opposite. We try really hard not to. We don’t want to be needy. We don’t want to complain. We don’t want to burden anyone, and we don’t want to be difficult. We don’t want to ask for too […]
There is one relationship you’ve had since the day you were born. One relationship that has been with you through every heartbreak, every celebration, every mistake, every disappointment, every success, every ordinary Tuesday, and every sleepless night. The relationship you have with yourself. It’s easy to overlook because it’s always there. We spend so much […]
When we think about healthy relationships, we usually think about our relationships with other people. But what about the relationship you have with yourself? It’s the one relationship you’ll have for your entire life. Yet many of us never stop to ask what a healthy relationship with ourselves actually looks like. It’s probably not what […]
Most of us don’t think of ourselves as controlling. In fact, many of the people I work with are caring, thoughtful, and deeply concerned about the wellbeing of others. They aren’t trying to dominate people or force their will on the world. Yet many of them are exhausted. They’re carrying burdens that aren’t theirs. They’re […]
Many people are afraid of becoming selfish. In fact, I’ve worked with countless clients who worry that if they start setting boundaries, honoring their needs, or taking better care of themselves, they’ll somehow become self-centered. What I often tell them is this: People who are truly selfish rarely worry about being selfish. The people who […]
When people think about self-respect, they often imagine something dramatic. Standing up to a bully. Leaving a toxic relationship. Drawing a firm line and refusing to cross it. Those moments certainly matter. But self-respect isn’t usually lost in one big decision. It’s chipped away in dozens of small moments that barely register on our radar. […]
Not all roles are obvious. Some look responsible. Some look helpful. Some even look confident. But underneath? They were ways of coping. Ways of navigating environments where something didn’t feel safe, stable, or predictable. In my last post, we talked about roles like the peacekeeper, the fixer, and the over-responsible one. But there are other […]
If it wasn’t safe to be fully yourself as a child, it will feel unfamiliar to be fully yourself as an adult. Not wrong. Not impossible. Just… unfamiliar. And that distinction matters. Because when something feels unfamiliar, your system doesn’t interpret it as growth. It interprets it as risk. This Didn’t Start with You Now […]
Think about this for a moment. Not the big, obvious relationship issues— but the small, everyday moments. The ones you brush off. The things you tell yourself aren’t a big deal. The subtle feelings of discomfort you move past without really stopping. Most people don’t realize this: It’s not just the big things that shape […]
