Soar with MarySoar with Mary
Empowering the World...One Wonderful Human Being At a Time
  • Blog
  • Living Proof
  • Connect
  • About
    • FAQ
  • Events
  • Start Your Journey
  • Coaching Options
  • Ownit! Powercast
  • 100th Episode GiveAway
Why It’s Hard To Own It Sometimes
26 Nov 2019

Why It’s Hard To Own It Sometimes

Mary Baker blogpost authentic, choice, courage, emotional honesty, empowerment, own it, ownitpowercast, self-confidence

If taking ownership was easy we wouldn’t have to talk about it, fight about it, or go to court about it.  If it was simple the world would be a different place for sure!  The hardest part is knowing how and where to begin.

The first place to start – and the place where most of our resistance lies – is in getting gut level honest with ourselves. That means asking hard questions and admitting the real, underlying truth about what we are thinking, feeling and choosing. We cannot feel genuine if we are lying to ourselves. In fact, this incongruence I often talk about is because we are not getting things straight with us first.

One of the subtle and insidious ways we lie to ourselves is by creating excuses, such as being too busy, waiting on others or pretending we keep forgetting. Or worse getting angry at ourselves for not having it tackled yet. All of these increase shame and are dishonest. Here’s why. When we are not uncovering the real reasons we may not be “able” to do it such as fear-based sabotage and negative underlying beliefs, we are not facing the real issues. The excuses will continue.

Another area of resistance shows up by being vague. Saying things like “Yeah I need to get to that” keeps the illusion going that you are really going to “get to that” with zero commitment to when, where, how and most importantly, why. Getting specific forces us in a good way to hone in and commit. To get honest. Do we really plan to tackle it? Are we really ready emotionally, physically or financially? Try to get clear. Identify what’s in the way and start tackling the resistance first.

If you’ve been listening to the podcast, you hear me say often to just experiment and notice what happens and how you feel. Start by focusing on changing one excuse at a time – and pick a manageable one at first so you can experience all the good that comes when you actually follow through on something! Your core self needs the experiential data to prove how it’s always so much better to create congruence for yourself: making your walk match your talk. Thus making this TRUE for you. This about your integrity, which should be your compass for everything you do.

This is all about creating self-trust. Bit by bit, day by day, building self-confidence and a stronger feeling of integrity. This is so important in order to have the courage to make bigger, harder changes in your life such as leaving a toxic relationship or changing your career. You will gather data each day from yourself and others who will begin noticing how you are safer to be around. You are in your truth. You are more trustworthy, serene and hopefully happy!

OwnitPowercast/022 OwnitPowercast/023

Related Posts

When Boundary Setting is Actually Control and How to Avoid Lashing Out

blogpost, Uncategorized

When Boundary Setting is Actually Control and How to Avoid Lashing Out

You are becoming more sure of yourself, and in doing so you are working on setting healthy boundaries with others. If you’re like most people in this space, you might also be pretty frustrated with what you’ve tolerated, and you might be tempted to “let ’em have what’s coming to them” the next time it […]

How to Get Rid of the Unearned Guilt When Setting Boundaries

blogpost

How to Get Rid of the Unearned Guilt When Setting Boundaries

We talk a lot on the show about the magic of healthy detachment in your relationships, and I often ask you to look at what’s yours and let go of what’s theirs. We also talk a lot about earned vs unearned guilt. Let’s take that boundary concept a bit further and look at some limiting […]

The Power of Listening…to Ourselves

blogpost

The Power of Listening…to Ourselves

We are often told how important it is to listen to others. To try to hear with our whole heart, with love, compassion, and hopefully understanding. We are strongly encouraged to be able to articulate some form of empathy for what they are sharing with us. We all need this from each other, and I […]

Recent Posts

  • When Boundary Setting is Actually Control and How to Avoid Lashing OutWhen Boundary Setting is Actually Control and How to Avoid Lashing Out
    August 17, 2022
  • How to Get Rid of the Unearned Guilt When Setting BoundariesHow to Get Rid of the Unearned Guilt When Setting Boundaries
    August 9, 2022
  • The Power of Listening…to OurselvesThe Power of Listening…to Ourselves
    August 3, 2022

Latest Tweets

  • Healthy boundaries are a MUST if we want to have self-trust and trust in our relationships. #Ownitpowercast… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
    3 days ago
  • Do you own your life? Join us as we talk about what taking charge of our choices looks like. #Ownitpowercast… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
    1 week ago
  • It’s a journey for sure. Finally having enough. Then processing all the ways your voice was silenced. Unheard. Dis… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
    2 weeks ago
→ Follow me

Join the Tribe

Soar with Mary
  • Blog
  • Living Proof
  • Connect
  • About
    • FAQ
  • Events
  • Start Your Journey
  • Coaching Options
  • Ownit! Powercast
  • 100th Episode GiveAway
© Soar with Mary 2022
Powered by WordPress • Themify WordPress Themes

About

My passion has been to help others uncover who they truly are, lay claim to their gifts and passions, and ultimately, their purpose. Because, I believe, a sense of purpose is what brings life, gets us out of bed and helps us to make sense of an otherwise stressful and overwhelming world.