Reaching Back in the Past to Recreate Your Present

How to Dig Deep in the Work to Find You

So you want life to go better? You want your relationships to be smoother, more satisfying and you want to feel more confident and grounded. Well then you might need to grieve. To go back to the origins of your life and do some deep work there.

What? Grieve? You say. Why would I need to grieve if I want all those positive things you just mentioned? Aren’t I supposed to just leave all that stuff in the past so I can live for today and move forward?

Of course you can. But if we never go back to the beginning where everything started, we are bound to continue the faulty thinking, stuffed emotions and self-esteem wounds that may have been created. See, this stuff doesn’t magically disappear on its own. Without looking back and doing an honest assessment of unmet needs, origins of shame, self-doubt and fears we cannot heal all of that and live differently today. Healing allows you to face yourself, face the truth and with tons of compassion and understanding work through the process of mad/sad about the costs – how most of the choices you’ve made along the way have been influenced. It lets you finally validate the real truth, and maybe shed some of the emotional weight of carrying this stuff for ever.

Underneath any unresolved grief is the authentic, vulnerable, fabulous you. The one whose defenses are set aside and one whose light starts to really shine. The creativity, the wonder, the using of gifts….it’s pretty endless and very, very cool.

So this week we talk on the podcast about going back and digging up some stuff. I know, not the most enjoyable part of the work but often the most profound. Over the years I have been so honored to witness clients heal. I also have sat with folks who sadly did not want to “go there”, and therefore suffered in their relationships with themselves and those they loved. Unresolved grief distorts our sense of self, how we relate to others and how we see the world.

Having the courage to begin that healing journey will pay off many times down the road. Of course, I always encourage you to grab the appropriate support to help you walk through it. We cannot do this part of the walk alone. Having others validate our pain and encourage our work is so validating. And the Self uses that validation to grow and transform.

Our relationships get healthier, we become happier and have a greater zest for life and connection, and the road starts opening up a little wider. So yes, you can avoid and walk around this barn on fire, or suit up, walk through, deal and come out the other side changed and healed.