Real Self Care is NOT for Sissies

5 Things You Must Do to Take Responsibility for You

But what does it really mean to take responsibility for yourself? I believe it means taking ownership for your HOW – Your Honesty with yourself and others, your Openness and readiness to do and commit to a schedule of self-care and the Willingness to ask for what you need – even from yourself. I often talk with clients about digging down into the core underlying issue instead of focusing on symptoms. For example, if there’s no time for you at the end of the day then the work you need to do is to set boundaries earlier in the day to make that possible. Ownership of your self-care means owning all the pieces to the process. To that end here’s a quick checklist of just some of those things, to give you a sense that yeah, you’re responsible for everything that pertains to you!

1 – Deciding If You’re Really Ready – First it’s about coming to acceptance around what you want and need to do to properly take care of mind, body and spirit. Regardless of who tells you what, you’re the only one who really needs to be ready to love yourself in this way. Because if you’re not ready, you won’t be able to commit to it. You’ll find other things to be more important and allow them to get in the way.

2- Self Care is More Than Taking That Nap – As I said on the podcast this week: It Ain’t Just a Spa Day! Self-Care is about self-management…taking care of ALL the things in your life that will help you feel more grounded and sane. Like doing the preventative stuff: paying bills on time, home maintenance, health maintenance, taking care of your relationships. Facing realities in said relationships! We must OWN that we either do the footwork to fend off a lot of crises… or fight fires we could have prevented. As you do more footwork, notice how much better it feels.

3 – Looking at What You Will Need to Ask For. Will you need them to take over a task, so you have time to work out? Will they just do more for themselves (because it’s time for them to anyway) so you can have a little more time and energy? Are some things just too much for one person and it’ll take a team (or a family!) to really move the needle? BE SPECIFIC – Don’t cry “You just need to help me!” won’t do it, it’s emotionally dishonest and unfair to others. Besides – making it specific makes it real! (and are you ready for that?)

4 – Take Ownership of Your Deep Downs. What I mean is your Deep Down Beliefs about yourself. Do you really deserve to feel more serene and happy? Do your needs really matter or are you being selfish? What’s the difference? (read here if you want to look more into that). Is it ok to ask others for what you need from them or will you be burdening them? Oh hail no to this one – they get to TELL YOU if they cannot do it! Especially grown people! Look at your Deep Down Fears. Have it out with them. Reframe it to healthier in your head. Have people remind you. Often. Like daily.

5 – Grab Accountability. We all need a few folks around us who get what we are trying to do, why it’s so much healthier, and how we may be afraid/self-sabotaging/lazy lol etc. Loving accountability is NOT judgment – but rather loving reminders that you deserve good things, yes others need to pitch in, it’s not selfish because…left to ourselves we may not stay committed!

                                                 The closer we get to what we really need,
                                                   the closer we get to who we really are.
                                                  And that is the essence of empowerment.

So be proud of yourself if you’re just beginning this process of owning your self care, or maybe you’re just climbing back on the horse. Owning what you need is so crucial to healthy self-confidence. The closer we get to what we really need, the closer we get to who we really are. And that is the essence of empowerment.