Don’t Let Your Past Keep You Stuck

Sometimes, no matter what we say or what is said to us, we may have some painful things in our background that greatly impact us still today.  From benign family difficulties to multiple traumas and everything in between, our childhoods shaped the person we’ve become  However, without healthy work being done around said topic, we can often struggle to not have the giant ball and chain still there, every day, running our life for us.

What happened to you happened TO you, not necessarily because of you.  It probably affected many of the choices you’ve made since then as well, which can help put your life into some immediate – if not difficult – perspective. If things had been different, you most likely would have made better choices. We all would.

Looking at things with a broader perspective with correct context can help you detach from the shame and guilt that you may have been carrying around. When we drag all of that around with us it can greatly impact our self-concept, and therefore all of our relationships. Can also greatly impact how we see the world, and what our behavior is. For example, if we feel victimized and beat up by life, we’re not going to act as if we are very empowered or have a lot of choices in our life. Our locus of control is probably going to feel like it’s an external one. Not one where we feel like we have some good power over what we want our life to look like. Therefore we can certainly give off the vibe that we’re pretty miserable, and probably sometimes difficult to even be around. We don’t want to feel this way. We don’t want to be this way. We just don’t know how to get started.

Remember, you get to decide whether you let that define who you are here forward, or not. In fact, you really are the only one who gets to decide who you want to be, and whether you’re willing to do the wonderful work to get there. We have grief work, we have self-esteem work to do, behaviors to change, and wonderful risk to take learning how to be more vulnerable, connected, and alive.

So take a moment and think about where you are. Look back and see whathas happened to you. Are you still living that out, or are you living perhaps because of or despite, drawing meaning and purpose and resilience from that journey? Do you feel like you are in charge of your life today or is it running you.? The neat thing is that every day we get another chance to take a look at this and create some wonderful change for ourselves. We don’t have to be who we were or what happened. We are not damaged we’re not broken we are not less than. We are wonderful, unique individuals here to live life as fully as we can.