So how do we create chaos for ourselves and why would we want to? Well, I think it’s a stretch to say that running late for things is enjoyable or something we look forward to, but I will say there is a secondary gain from not being organized, and that is keeping us safe from risk. From the possible failure that can come when we commit and follow through with something. When we take ownership, we put ourselves out there to be a grownup.
The chaos we bring about when we don’t practice self-discipline or take time to plan, we ignore the of the Laws of Reality, and that is: cause and effect. If we don’t look at our calendar ahead of time, how can we commit to scheduling things that need to happen? Not putting our things in a certain place is sure to create drama in the morning when we are searching frantically for our phone, keys, or that important piece of paper.
It takes a few extra seconds each time to be intentional about being organized, to set that reminder in our phone, to not just toss things anywhere when we get home. It’s a choice to take time each day and each week to tidy up so that we know where things are. So, we save ourselves time and frustration the rest of the week. If I added up all the minutes over the years where I have paid this price…which is why in recent years I have really focused on being more mindful and in choice. If I want sanity, I take the time to organize and to plan ahead. If I want chaos, I get “too busy” and pay the price.
The extra effort we say we don’t have time or energy for will ironically save us so much later. What this also does is help us feel calmer and more confident when we take responsibility in these ways. In that sense it is self-care, because not doing these things is a form of self-neglect. This can come about for us due to lack of parental nurturing, or their control we might still be rebelling against. Structuring is not control, but scaffolding that provides safety and sanity, along with a method to get things done. We need to practice making and owning our choices, detaching from the old tapes playing in our head and decide what we want for ourselves.
So, if you want less chaos in your daily life, what would be the first thing you would begin to do today to begin to be more disciplined? How will that feel to not be that stressed any more, and that you were the one who took care of it? You deserve to love yourself through the discipline process. The choosing good things for yourself. Intellectually I know you know that, but does your heart?