Your voice is everything. It’s how you express who you are to the world, which is why it can feel like such a vulnerable thing. If there are wounds in your past where you struggled to have your voice heard, validated and valued it may be hard to feel like you can fully express yourself. All of yourself. Your real thoughts and feelings. Your heart. What you believe and how you see the world.
More vulnerable than all of that is showing your gifts. The things that make you unique and special, such as what you’re passionate about and experienced in. Putting your expertise out there takes confidence and the ability to detach from those others who have a hard time being supportive and open.
So maybe over the years you kept your voice “quiet” by being what others need you to be in the moment. It’s been easier to leak your feelings and real thoughts and needs out sideways by snarky comments, under the breath statements or acting out when you’ve had enough and you blow. It’s so much easier this way, right? Hey it’s why we do it. Our perception is that it feels less embarrassing.
Maybe you just stuff your feelings (and then your face because, well the hurt needs to have something happen to it) and don’t share them. You subvert what you really need because those around you right now aren’t tuned in or care about what you need. Being “needless” feels “less needy” and thus prevents the continual letdown.
Maybe you rationalize it all with irrational thinking such as you shouldn’t need more than you have. No one wants to hear what you have to say… and who the hell do you think you are anyway? This is just rationalizing your fears to make it easier to not risk being genuine.
But wait – what about all the great stuff you’ve been missing out on? Like the much needed deep caring connections that help us feel grounded, whole and a part of something greater. What about the mirroring you’re not getting that helps you to keep defining and refining who you are and how you want to express yourself and why. And don’t forget the much-needed learning from others on such a genuine level.
It’s all that stuff that makes us feel alive that we don’t get when we hold back. When we place it safe having surface conversations. Staying just arms-length enough to not get hurt. But too far away to feel the real either. To create moments. To form healthier relationships that are substantive and sustaining.
And the world doesn’t get to experience all of YOU. The whole you…the silly, the smart, the scared, the awe-struck the delighted and the sad you. With all of your beautiful creativity and incredible distinctive gifts. You have things to bring to the world we don’t have already – because you have your unique spin. Your new ideas and insights. Your way of seeing the world.
We need you. All of you. So dust off that voice. Deepen it. Broaden it. Feel all your feelings and express them. Find your path. Deeply listen to your voice first, because ironically the very thing you’ve not been listening to or sharing with others is the best guidance system you have.
The Learning – The helpful testing and retesting ways to speak and why
The feeling of real
Trusting and liking yourself
Worst of all the world doesn’t get all of you. All of your expression of your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration. So as you can see, we need to hear you. We want to hear you. And you need to be heard.