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Bad Moment or Unhealthy Pattern? How to Tell the Difference
When Is It a Mistake, and When Is It a Pattern? We all have moments we’re not particularly proud of. We lose our patience. We say something we wish we hadn’t. We get defensive, shut down, overreact, or fail to consider how our behavior affects someone else. Sometimes we’re tired. Sometimes we’re overwhelmed. Sometimes old […]
You Can Hear Someone’s Feelings Without Defending Yourself
Have you ever had someone tell you how hurt, angry, or disappointed they were, and immediately felt the need to explain yourself? Maybe they said you were being selfish. Or inconsiderate. Or that you clearly didn’t care about them. And suddenly, instead of listening to what they’re feeling, you’re busy defending who you are. Because you do […]
When Being the Helper Keeps You From Being Known
Are you the helper? The person everyone turns to when they’re struggling? The one who listens, offers advice, figures things out, makes things happen, and somehow always finds a way to be there? Maybe you’re really good at it. Maybe people regularly tell you how strong, generous, dependable, or selfless you are. And maybe you […]
Have You Become the Unofficial Manager of Someone Else’s Life?
Have you ever noticed how much time you spend thinking about what someone else is thinking, feeling, doing, or not doing? Maybe you’re trying to figure out why your partner is in a bad mood. Maybe you’re worrying about an adult child’s choices. Maybe you’re rehearsing how to tell someone something because you know they […]
Why Do I Have to Ask? The Resentment that Grows When We Expect People to Notice What We Need
There’s a very human feeling of: Why should I have to ask him to help? He can see what needs to be done. Why should I have to tell her I need support? She knows what I’m going through. Why do I have to ask them to check in? If they cared, wouldn’t they want […]
Before You Assume, Ask Why
We fill in blanks. All the time. Someone says, “I don’t want to go,” and we hear, They don’t want to spend time with me. Someone asks for more notice before making plans, and we hear, They’re so inflexible. Someone gets quiet during a difficult conversation, and we assume they don’t care. Someone says no […]
When You Don’t Say What You Mean: The Hidden Cost of Passive-Aggressive Communication
Sometimes we don’t say what we mean. We sigh. We get quiet. We say, “Fine.” We make the little comment that technically wasn’t an accusation—but was absolutely meant to land like one. We say, “Whatever you want,” when we very much have an opinion…just one we quickly stash away somewhere safe. We agree to something […]
What Happened…and the Story You Told Yourself About It
Something happens. They don’t text back. They get quiet. They forget something you asked them to do. Their tone changes. They don’t offer to help. They cancel plans. And almost instantly, our brains fill in the rest. They don’t care. They’re mad at me. I’m not important to them. They’re being selfish. They don’t want […]
Are You Saying What You Mean—or Hoping They’ll Figure It Out? How Emotional Honesty Builds Connection
We talk a lot about communication. We say we need to communicate better. We wish other people would communicate better. We get frustrated when someone doesn’t understand us, doesn’t respond the way we hoped, or seems completely oblivious to what we’re trying to tell them. But here’s a question worth sitting with: Did you actually […]
What Doesn’t Fit Anymore? 10 Things You May Have Outgrown
Sometimes we stay with things long after they’ve stopped fitting us…not because they’re necessarily terrible, but because they’re familiar. A relationship, a role, a goal, a way of spending our time, even an identity can make perfect sense for one season of our lives and feel completely different in another. But admitting that can be […]
