Who’s Life is it Anyway – and Are You Living Yours?

As we talked about on the podcast today, even though it may feel like too much time has passed, you’re too busy now, you’re older, etc etc. It is NEVER too late to honor who you always wanted to be.  Your timing also couldn’t be more perfect, with societal norms changing around “standards” and the concept of having different careers and making big life changes later is actually accepted and expected!

Don’t let fear come back in and rob you of this new chance, either.  Fear has been exactly what has kept you from honoring yourself.  I promise you, if you sit there long enough and keep digging down underneath your “reasons” for not honoring yourself sooner you will come across one or five of the basic fears we can all have.  When we think or feel something long enough,  they form beliefs that guide our life, whether we realize that or not.

Fear of Failure.  If you were taught to believe that if you failed at something or it wasn’t perfect, YOU weren’t good enough, of course you would be terrified to fail! Part of the healing is CHOOSING instead what I tell clients would be a 84.2% “good enough” and tell yourself why.  The Why Matters.  That way you have a new roadmap for success that can motivate not stall you.

Fear of Success. Crazy, right?  But it’s the same thing in reverse.  What if you ARE successful, then what? What will you do with it, how will you handle it and will loved ones hate you for it?   Who might you have to leave if you are….you realize this list goes on.  Again, heal this by making a choice list around success.  That way you’ve already decided.  Done.

Fear of What Others Might Think, Do or Feel.  If you find it hard to detach from what is going on for others in your life, you might deep down believe you are actually responsible for them.  You are not.  You are not. You are not. There’s no way you have that much power.  Sorry.  Do the mantras in your head and talk it out.  “That’s about them.  This is about me.”  Listen to the episode on detachment if you need more information on this.

Fear You Can’t Handle Disappointment or Conflict. Yep, what if you run into roadblocks?  Others let you down? You run into conflict along the way?  Not feeling you can handle the bumps in the road can make us hold back on taking risks.  Instead, enlist a person or two who are strong enough to lead you through the maze.  Get mentoring.  Get a support group around it.  That way you’re covered.

Fear of Feeling So ALIVE. Ironically it’s the good stuff we might be afraid to trust.  What if you let yourself be that open and vulnerable and it’s ripped away?  What if you can’t trust it will be ok?  This is so huge.  And common.  The healing is make a choice.  Life is short and you don’t want regrets ten years from now.  Focus on that instead.

Yep, fear is the root of all evil and is such a soul robber.  So instead of giving into it again, try to focus on CHOICES you can begin to make to get back on track.  Focus on owning said choices.  The only way out of letting fear run your life, is to refocus on your choice statements when it pops up.  Do this all day long if you have to, until you retrain your thinking to accept the new normal.  Making sure you begin to talk about what you want and need is powerful.  Taking baby steps toward that will move you forward.