Making Real Changes…Changes Your Life

As I was putting the podcast together for this month which is all about how we are looking back over the year, I began thinking about my own work and that of my clients.  On the show today I mention how making real changes…CHANGES your life.  Because it does.  I get the honor of witnessing this in my work.  I see my clients gather the courage to face and change some very difficult things, and watch how their entire life is changed, perhaps forever, by becoming healthier.

I think there are two areas that are intertwined that give the most bang for the buck, and they are boundaries and grief work.  Boundary work has so many facets and can take awhile to integrate it into your life.  But when you do, everything changes.  You begin to live on your own terms, separate from others, and begin taking better ownership of your life.  No longer do you allow others to treat you poorly, have entangled relationships where there is no individuality and personal responsibility and no trust. Instead, you begin feeling whole again as you honor yourself with what you will and won’t do.

Looking at your own denial of many things, including perhaps past emotional trauma, ways you have allowed unhealthy into your life, and maybe even ignoring your struggle to have internal boundaries or self-discipline, requires some compassionate grief work.  When we run out of ways to well, run, we then sit in our truth and begin to feel the deep feelings we may have suppressed for a long time.  Or hid underneath our anxiety and all our busyness.  Allowing ourselves to go kicking-and-screaming to acceptance of what is, we can finally validate our truth, our feelings and stop trying to run from or change the reality that was…and is.  This brings peace eventually because deep down we always knew we needed to face and embrace all of that.

We were just so afraid we couldn’t handle the truth or the sometimes gut-wrenching emotions that might accompany it.  That fear is a lie, and when we have enough boundaries around us, and a few safe people and a great coach to help us, we can open that door and walk through.  Courageously.  So, remember the next time you just want some peace in your life, and sit down with what ever you need to accept.  Then look at the boundary issues and what needs to be grieved and let go of.

And watch your life change some more.