Becoming Assertive is a Process So Be Patient with Yourself

When we think about learning how to be more assertive, we usually conjure up an image of someone finally speaking out and standing up for themselves. No longer tolerating being disrespected or not listened to.  In the movies we often see the hero or heroine do this as they face their greatest fears.

This is true and an important part of using your voice.  However, what movies don’t often show is the process it takes to go from being quiet and compliant, swallowing feelings and people-pleasing, to the confident, assured and calm speaker of their truth.  Because it is a process, with a lot of learning and trial and error to go along with it.

When you spend many years of your life living under the paradigm that speaking up can seem controlling, and that setting limits can be selfish and uncaring, then changing to its opposite can be quite the transformation.  It means changing your beliefs about what is healthy and good (and why), and how by not be assertive it means you then are resorting to acting out or passive aggressive behavior. You are learning through this changing just how manipulative all of that truly is.

Becoming more assertive means learning to be more in charge of our emotions, choosing our approach in our communication and sometimes making big changes to our behavior.  I think this is not only going to change how you communicate, but it’s going to change you as a person.  You will begin to operate completely differently in your life, with far reaching impacts in all areas of it.

So if you are thinking about this journey, or feel as if you are already on it, good for you!  Your courage to change and ironically become who you really are will bring such magic.  If you need someone in that rowboat with you, let me know.  I’ve helped many people transform as they grow their way to the healthier side 😊