This month on the podcast we will be diving back into the concept of self-confidence. What it is, what it isn’t and how do we get it, or just enhance it if we just need a few tweaks? I think there are several moving parts to feeling grounded. Confidence doesn’t just “happen”, so let’s look at a few of them here.
Your words. We’ve been talking a lot about Emotional honesty lately, and for a reason. When you get in touch with the authentic you, and share with others, you feel so much more grounded, because you are no longer in conflict with yourself. There’s no hiding. You are expressing what you really think, want, feel and need, and so you feel more congruent. You make sense to yourself!
Your actions…Do they match your words? Did you veer left when you said right? The lack of congruence can really make for some crazy-making, both for you and those around you. Now, this can be calculated of you area manipulator, or just unintended, because you struggle to really stand in your truth. So start being very mindful of what you do – is in line with what you are saying? If not, then you will need to change one of them if you want others to trust you – and for you to start believing in yourself more.
People pleasing anyone? That’ll sure to keep you from being authentic and congruent. In fact, it’s probably one of the number one reasons we may vacillate, change our tune at the last minute, or renege on a promise. Your ability to set boundaries is huge work when it comes to standing in your truth, but oh so worth it!
I’ve often said that we can’t have trust in our relationships without boundaries, and this includes the one you have with yourself! If you can’t count on yourself to be able to say no, how can you trust YOU?
With YOU is where the work starts. Begin with small commitments, small moments of saying no and work up to the bigger, badder stuff as you get stronger. Trust is built slowly, especially with ourselves and it takes time to change old patterns of behavior. Just remember they are just exactly that. Patterns. And just like traffic detours, we CAN change them!