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Invisible Guilt: Overcoming Negative Self-Care Beliefs
10 Jul 2024

Invisible Guilt: Overcoming Negative Self-Care Beliefs

Mary Baker blogpost Invisible guilt, negative beliefs, self-care

We all hear how good and important self-care is, and it’s something I talk about often on the podcast.  Yet putting ourselves first can often feel wrong or selfish, even though it’s crucial for our well-being. Many of us carry invisible negative beliefs that make self-care and self-love challenging. These beliefs can be so ingrained that we might not even realize they’re there. Let’s explore some common negative beliefs about prioritizing ourselves and how they affect us.

“Taking Care of Myself is Selfish”

Many of us grow up hearing that putting others first is the right thing to do. This can lead to the belief that taking care of ourselves is selfish. We might feel guilty for taking time for ourselves or saying no to others. However, self-care isn’t about ignoring others’ needs; it’s about ensuring we have the energy and health to be there for them too.

“I Don’t Deserve Self-Care”

If we were raised in environments where our needs were often overlooked or dismissed, we might feel unworthy of care and attention. This belief can make it hard to prioritize our own needs because we don’t see ourselves as deserving. Everyone deserves self-care, and recognizing our worth is the first step to breaking this belief.

“Others Will Think I’m Selfish”

Worrying about others’ opinions can stop us from taking care of ourselves. We might fear being judged or labeled as selfish if we set boundaries or take time for self-care. It’s important to remember that true friends and loved ones will understand and respect our need to prioritize our well-being. They also show us this is true by taking good care of themselves.

“I Have to Earn Self-Care”

Some of us believe that we need to achieve something or reach a certain point before we can take care of ourselves. This belief often stems from a culture that values productivity over well-being. Self-care isn’t a reward; it’s a necessity. We don’t have to earn the right to rest and take care of our health.

“I’m Not Good Enough to Prioritize Myself”

Feelings of inadequacy can lead to neglecting self-care. If we constantly feel like we’re not good enough, we might think that our needs don’t matter. Building self-worth and recognizing that we are good enough as we are can help us see the importance of self-care.

Overcoming These Beliefs

Recognizing and challenging these negative beliefs is crucial. Start by reflecting on where these beliefs come from and question their validity. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your need for self-care. Remember, taking care of yourself is essential for a balanced, healthy life. You deserve it.

Prioritizing ourselves isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for our well-being. By uncovering and challenging these invisible negative beliefs, we can start to embrace self-care and self-love. Remember, you deserve to put yourself first. Your well-being matters.

 

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My passion has been to help others uncover who they truly are, lay claim to their gifts and passions, and ultimately, their purpose. Because, I believe, a sense of purpose is what brings life, gets us out of bed and helps us to make sense of an otherwise stressful and overwhelming world.