Don’t Let a Silly Little Setback Stop You
It’s so frustrating. You began that health plan two weeks ago, or began cleaning and painting your guest room and WHAM life showed up and got in the way of your goals. Maybe you came down with a cold, a loved one needed care out of town or work just got plain crazy and you lost time. But don’t despair just because you had a setback. We forget these things are inevitable when we set goals – in a vacuum – then struggle to not get deflated when things happen. So, what to do?
One way we can stay focused and motivated is to have what I call “reset” moments. Times where you regroup once a month or once a week and take stock of what’s going on and focus things you can do to get back on track. First, remind yourself of your WHY. Why you want to get organized, lose weight, save money. This will help you to get grounded again. Then focus on what to next. Here are some ways you can use those reset moments to get things right again.
Grab Some Context. Not to make excuses or rationalize anything. But just to understand perhaps why you aren’t getting those things done this week. Or why you may be less motivated because you aren’t addressing some difficult feelings about something that happened. Often, we don’t realize how other situations going on in our life can affect how much energy we have.
Get Honest with Yourself. But please, seriously watch your self-talk when you do this. You can own that you’ve slacked off without shaming yourself for doing so. Keeping in neutral and objective truly can help here, with an internal dialogue such as “Ok, well I guess I didn’t get those errands done this week. Let me commit to making sure they get done by the end of the weekend.” This addresses the facts, the issue, and the commitment to make it right. This will help you get back on track and feel better. Once you do those errands, your motivation will return.
Look At Options Not Outcomes. When you realize you might need to pivot because obstacles have come your way, try to generate as many possible alternatives that you can live with, and focus on emotionally making peace with them first. This way, you aren’t feeling beat up by the process when you are trying to make changes. Detours often lead us to better places, even if it doesn’t seem that way at first. It’s important we also don’t get into attaching ourselves to specific outcomes. Focus instead on the general, such as “as long as I end up eating better,” or “get this house organized by the end of the year” then you can deal with different routes to get there.
Make sure through all of this you are honest with yourself, yet also practicing self-compassion and self-acknowledgement around how good you feel just deciding to make changes. You’ve started, and that is really the hardest part for some of us. Just keep focusing on what you can do today, no matter how small the step is, because you know that if you keep taking those steps you will eventually get there.
