Ways We Let Ourselves Down
On the podcast this week I am talking about the concept of Fear vs Courage, and how important bravery is if we want to live a fuller, more authentic life. I know being fearless sounds fabulous, and how easy it is to cheer the hero on in the epic movie when they are up against their biggest enemy. In real life, however it isn’t always easy to just pull the trigger of bravery. Just the thought of doing so may be paralyzing you, even though you know what you want for your life is on the other side of that fear. The losses on this side of the fear – if you DON’T face it, will continue to pile up, creating resentments and regrets we must live with, not to mention the impact upon our loved ones. Here are a few ways we let ourselves down.
Not Taking the Chance. Think for a moment about opportunities that have come to you either personally or professionally that could have made a big difference in your life, yet you didn’t follow through due to worry about the timing or other “reasons” you may have had. Now think of how much better your life would be today if you had taken the risk and went with it. Some things we will find difficult to have a second chance to do, like marrying that person or trying out for that team.
Not Using Your Gifts. Just like not taking the chance, not using your talents in ways that feel right is not honoring what comes naturally to you and brings you satisfaction. Not to mention how you can help others with talent they don’t possess but you do. Often what we are passionate about compliments what we are good at, allowing us to find things to do that we both care a lot about and can do well. I think working outside of this can contribute to lower self-esteem, depression and anxiety as we are going against who we truly are.
Not Confronting the Bad. As challenging as it can be to imagine facing a toxic partner or friend, engaging in a legal fight for good reasons or leaving an awful job, NOT facing the bad can make life much, much worse. Toxic people don’t get easier to deal or live with, and the toll of not asserting what you need for sanity at work or with others will only hurt you in several different ways. Your other relationships suffer when you don’t set boundaries, because they are impacted by your worsening mental and physical health and your struggle to be there for them. Not setting limits is not easy for you to live with knowing that you didn’t love yourself enough to fight. I realize we must let go of impossible things at times, yet how often did we walk away simply out of fear when we could have fought, even if the result is simply that honored our truth.
Not Letting Go. This sounds so easy but can be really hard. Letting go of ways people have hurt or betrayed you is difficult, especially if you are still living with the effects of it, such as now being a single parent, unemployed or physically impacted. Maybe all three. The only way to let go is to allow yourself to fully grieve and surrender to what is. This actually sets YOU free from the prison of resentment and lets you get on with your life. If you don’t let go of what you had or thought was to be, how can you then fully live life now? What is it costing you to live in the past?
Each of these represents taking risks with no guarantee of the outcome. What I want you to think about is what regret and resentment do you NOT want to feel ten years from now simply because you were afraid. Also consider the toll on your life today if you are remaining in toxic environments because stress makes us sick in so many ways and impact those around us. I think making the conscious choice to take calculated risks instead of avoiding life because of fear allows you to open doors to better things. Owning the choice puts you back in the driver seat of your life. Allowing fear to drive, well….I think you deserve better.
