It’s so easy to think that we are simply stuck. That we don’t have too many choices, or at least we can’t see them as of yet. But if we want to make changes in our life big or small, I think what we really need to do is take a hard look at what we choose everyday – all day. I think we tend to forget just how many hundreds of choices we make every day. And how they add up. Every time you eat healthier it adds up. Every time you eat something unhealthy the pounds add up you know that.
I think we watch too many movies that make it seem as though only the grand, dramatic gestures and changes can help us get the job, get the girl or change the world. Sure, if you win a million dollars tomorrow or make it through a life-saving surgery your life will feel very different. But it’s not often that we are presented with the big opportunities, thank goodness. Life would be quite the rollercoaster and very stressful anyway.
Instead, we underestimate the tiny habits that add up over time. We don’t see the impacts immediately which is hard in our instant gratification world, but over time we can actually trust the change because it was real, it was hard, and we paid for it. We started, we slipped, it felt like crap and began again, more determined than ever. In fact if it were so easy it wouldn’t be as meaningful now would it?
Every time you refrain from being defensive when talking with your partner, your sister or your coworker, you show that you are mature and they can trust you to be able to hear them. You feel better in those moments too.
Every time you make sure you are on time you like and trust yourself more. You can begin feeling reliable and trustworthy. You can commit and follow through. You don’t blow opportunities or others’ faith in you. You feel less anxious and shame-based and in control of yourself.
Every time you connect and say, “I’m sorry I hurt you.” Or “I can imagine how wonderful that news was for you!” the other will feel more understood and cared for, and you reap the benefits of bonding genuinely and vulnerably. You risk and enjoy the reward of offering mirroring and “knowing” the other.
Every time you refrain from unnecessary spending you save money each day that adds up. Money that you can put toward good things. You will feel more responsible and hopeful you can reach your goals.
So you may not see it yet but these “tiny” steps actually help keep you in reality. They show you that you CAN make big changes in your life by repeating the smaller ones every day. You will feel more congruent and on-purpose, in alignment with who you want to be. Your actions will slowly but surely create more self-confidence, lower you anxiety and strengthen your relationships.
The best part of all of this is you can start NOW, today. And you can forget and pick it back up tomorrow too. This makes it so possible for you to attain what you want for your life. So what’s stopping you : )