We hear it all the time. Be at peace with everything that happens to you, because both the good and the bad are valuable for us. Now, intellectually we know that of course, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy to do. Especially when the bad things that happen to us maybe due to the fact that we made a mistake, we ignored red flags, or we were just simply irresponsible. That combination of shame and guilt can make it difficult to swallow.
On the show today I talked to James Heppner about changing our mindset about this. James says instead of saying things happen to you, that they happened for you either to bring you something great, or to show you some valid truth that can help you move forward. He gave the example of someone just coming to acceptance that maybe they’re not great at math, and that’s OK. I think it can be a good thing in terms of it helping us narrow down what our gifts are, what we’re passionate about, and therefore where we fit. I do believe that sometimes if these things did not happen for us so to speak we may never have taken the path to lead us to a wonderful place.
James is all about acceptance of what is true for us. To embrace it with compassion, understanding, and simply sitting with the evidence of what is true. We talked on the show about how oftentimes we want to control reality, sometimes even by running from it, or pretending it’s something different. When that reality is harsh, we certainly understand why we might not want to face it. But James is right. Unless we can sit with what is about us, we can’t create a new true change in our life. Staying in denial about ourselves about our situations maybe even about our math skills will only keep us stuck. Sitting with what is true and making peace with that truth, sometimes via some difficult grief work, will bring us peace because then we can do what is actually possible in our life. We can begin to make things right. We can address issues, problems, and even the new possibilities.
In this way, we start again on solid ground, not shaky uncertain vague cross your fingers kind of ground that got us in trouble in the first place. By looking at how we got here without judgment but also without denial, we can actually start problem solving and getting to where we truly want to be which ultimately is it a more peaceful place…with ourselves.